Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Sunday, March 27, 2016

The Vegetarian-Agency, Violence and the Surreal


The Vegetarian By Han Kang
"‘I didn’t, you see. I thought trees stood up straight … I only found out just now. They actually stand with both arms in the earth, all of them. Look, look over there, aren’t you surprised?’ Yeong-hye sprang up and pointed to the window. ‘All of them, they’re all standing on their heads.’ Yeong-hye laughed frantically. In-hye remembered" (from "Vegetarian: A Novel" by Han Kang)
The above is exclaimed by Yeong-Hye supposed to be delirious and schizophrenic who refuses to eat to her elder sister In-Hye. And as this quote grips me, embrace me, I struggle to interpret it- As I often speak about layers, this speaks to me in layers, from multiple angles- the agency of Yeong_hye or that of any woman which is almost absent and often are said to make choices in coercion. Or it is the way we want to look into things, our empathy and being one with them engulfs us wholly that it destroys us- however Yeong-Hye questions this tragedy asking, why is it so sad to die?
And when did all these things start? From the moment Yeong- Hye married for the last 5 years, a docile, almost insignificant house-wife, whom her husband dismisses at the beginning of the novel as to be completely unremarkable in every way takes the decision of becoming a vegetarian and gives up eating meat. All hell breaks loose. In fact it becomes unfathomable and unacceptable to the husband, as well as to her own parents, siblings.  Her husband almost starts thinking himself as a victim, being denied of being served non-vegetarian food and of course of sex. Yeong-Hye refuses physical relationship stating his sweat smells of meat which is abhorring to her. However that doesn’t stop Mr. Cheong to violate her wishes. And this violence goes on throughout the book.  In fact Han Kang doesn’t give any voice to Yeong-Hye throughout the novel.  Her thoughts are just italicized, as some soliloquys within herself. 
However Yeong- Hye though is an omnipresent character in the book, the entire novel is written in 3 parts, where the narrator changes from the first part being Mr. Cheong, Hye’s husband, amazed at his own victimhood (that’s how he speaks about these incidences), to In-Hye’s (Yeong Hye’s elder sister) husband. He gets enamored with Yeong- Hye, now divorced and under medication, post suicidal trauma. In fact consent is something constantly questioned in the novel. In-Hye seems to be much surer and successful than her artist husband, who find In-Hye’s goodness almost oppressive.   Its not his relationship with Yeong- Hye that makes In-Hye turn against him. She thinks him to be manipulative and selfish, who never thought that Yeong-Hye is unwell and under medication- and this relationship is again violation of her rights to be in an “agency to decide”. And this is when the third and final part of the novel starts. In In-Hye’s voice. Suddenly the successful business woman, the only woman in the novel who earns her living, takes care of the family, leads a cosmetic chain and has a voice as a narrator.. feels the futility of her own self. Questions why she had not raised her voice earlier, when her father tried to force-feed meat to Yeong-Hye? Why now- when her own husband is in the act? Is it a personal deceit that she is trying to hide in form of love or concern..
As she reminisces about their childhood, when one day the two sisters losing their way in the mountains, Yeong-Hye shared the happy possibility of never being able to trace her way back home… that revelation dawns upon her..
"Only after all this time was she able to understand why Yeong-hye had said what she did. Yeong-hye had been the only victim of their father’s beatings. Such violence wouldn’t have bothered their brother Yeong-ho so much, a boy who went around doling out his own rough justice to the village children. As the eldest daughter, In-hye had been the one who took over from their exhausted mother and made a broth for her father to wash the liquor down, and so he’d always taken a certain care in his dealings with her. Only Yeong-hye, docile and naive, had been unable to deflect their father’s temper or put up any form of resistance. Instead, she had merely absorbed all her suffering inside her, deep into the marrow of her bones. Now, with the benefit of hindsight, In-hye could see that the role that she had adopted back then of the hard-working, self-sacrificing eldest daughter had been a sign not of maturity but of cowardice. It had been a survival tactic.  Could I have prevented it? Could I have prevented those unimaginable things from sinking so deep inside of Yeong-hye and holding her in their grip? She saw her sister again, as a child, her back and shoulders and the back of her head as she stood alone in front of the main gate at sunset. The two of them had eventually made it down off the mountain, but on the opposite side from where they’d started. They’d hitched a ride on a power tiller back to their small town, hurrying along the unfamiliar road as darkness fell. In-hye had been relieved, but not her sister."
She questions the reason of her conformity, so long, to the parents, to the family, to the husband.. to look at success in this manner.. whereas what does Yeong Hye do in her schizophrenia, giving up meat and then wanting to be the tree, with hands in the ground, lest the hands become something else tugging at flesh, plucking and seizing from others.. an act of violence.. Well non-violence did lead to her death…

The Vegetarian is actually a first of its kind novel for me, surreal in a sense. In fact its difficult for me to describe the feeling. And of course I am looking at it from the angle of women and agency in the Asian context. However also it reflects on the effect of trying to change the norms or ways of “oppression” (may be), at refusing to violate rights, be it that of the animals or the plants, to rid one-self of the carnal desires- the state of Yeong-Hye, from being the body of a beautiful young woman, conventionally an object of desire..to becoming a body void of any desire… metaphorically death and that’s what came to Yeong Hye.

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

OBEDIENCE and ITS MYRIAD POSSIBILITIES...

Obedience and Its Myriad Possibilities:



Graphic Works are of great interest to me. In fact I try and get hold of graphic novels (not the superhero comic or manga, but of a fictional narrative form presented in graphics). Had read about Ayesha Tariq’s Sarah- the Suppressed Anger of the Pakistani Obedient Daughter. Found the premise interesting and hence had to order it.  However the waiting time was long. Finally the book arrived.
For me it was a really long day at work and reached home at around 10.45 p.m. with already a To Do list in my mind- packing for travel commencing the next day, finishing some routine emails and follow-ups and planning for the week starting 28th March.
The click of the latch turning to open the main door had hardly died down, when on the table I found the parcel and the thin size told me clearly that finally Sarah has arrived from Pakistan (pun intended) to suburban Mumbai. And pushed the To DO list away for a few hours and sat down with the book.
The illustration style is excellent- sharing the url for anyone who wants to have a look online-https://www.behance.net/gallery/4614361/The-Suppressed-Anger-of-the-Pakistani-Obedient-Daughter And minimal text. The illustration can give way to imagination and interpretation and thereby can be taken to people who may find text heavy pieces boring. And I knew whom to take the book next day morning.
The story is extremely interesting and to me Pakistani daughter could have been avoided- this can be the story of any daughter in South Asia (there can be variance in the degree of expected obedience). Sarah is the daughter of a middle class retired army officer. Sarah has dreams and she considers the impediment towards fulfilling them is one and only thing- FAMILY (a conservative Pakistani family according to her where affections and freedom are often skewed to the male progeny-Sarah’s Bhaiya). Sarah has to follow rules, be it coming back home before Maghreeb, or helping Ammi in house-hold chores and above all, if going out with friends, adhering to the “rule of odds” (explained below) through the pic.



And Sarah is angry, with the bottled up anger within her increasing by the day and almost coming to the point of explosion. Of course she hates this discrimination. She hates being subjected to “ oppression  differing standards of obedience between her and her brother“… and she decides to confront… until she hears this…
“Sarah is amazing today, the perfect daughter, the most obedient”… and suddenly family beckons, tugs at the string of her heart… and…
This reminded me of a recent discussion I had in a cohort about Family- is family a safety net or a coercive system. How does it look at gender? And above all why was the family formed? Is it about safety or patriarchy?  And what Sarah felt, have I not gone through the same, struggling hard to be the perfect daughter, aiming to please parents and also subtly gaining my freedom in exchange of chores/1st class marks/being the best in everything?

Next morning had a workshop with the mobilization team of a partner organization of ours. The team is large –around 20 people (including my own team) coming from all across India. This was the last day of the 3 day process and all were discussing that mobilization in the community if tough, since girls donot want to work post training, the parents are not ready and above all (in sheer frustration), they donot understand the fruits of empowerment. The gender ratio was 50:50, mostly the cluster managers being males and the mobilizers being women.  And many of these girls had for the first time come to Mumbai or come out of their hometowns.  Morning while having breakfast, I just put the book and many started gliding through the pages. Few started smiling shyly, few got engrossed within the pictures, few started certain questions?  And soon we started asking what is obedience? Is it important? They all smiled and said, yes, one should listen to their parents. I asked again. And now they started laughing and said- “ But if we had been obedient, we wouldn’t have been sitting here today, none of us… “…..It was a very interesting discussion- all shared their experiences, at what point and time, they all said, “ enough is enough and that was when they really, strongly felt the need of pursuing something”… and then one of them smiled and said- maybe we are unable to mobilize since the girls in the community are not strongly clinging onto something for which they would come to us. We go to them with our readymade offering. We have to fill in batches. But do we know the melting point of their tolerance, when they will negotiate against these impediments to fulfill what they want. That’s a longer, painful process. Madhuri, one of them was in tears and said- “You know, for the last 2 days, we had been speaking “them”and  “us”, whereas its always us… we are no different from our girls, but we forget that often.. we donot connect.. we donot understand how intoxicating the heady feeling of being an “obedient daughter” is.. how can I come out of that? Its not a 10 minutes canvassing that can help, its only through connecting with them, keeping things aside that may help?” The next half an hour were debates and discussions, about family, freedom and often questioning- “why is it Pakistani daughter, she should have left it Daughter only, why don’t you tell her that?”
I had to obey the demand. I wrote to Ayesha locating her on Facebook- telling her what my team feels about the name and the overall story… and thanking her for bringing the narrative out.
Our reading in the meantime continues…





 
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